Being a Finn has been the only thing I know for as long as I can remember. Growing up in a smaller town far away from the bigger cities, surrounded by people who look just like me and act like me, impacted my adolescence brain greatly. I grew bored of the norm I lived in. The traditions, the way of life all felt as though it was suffocating me. I wanted to be free and create my own space.
So I made up this notion: only by leaving Finland, I could find my place. I craved to go see the world and move abroad. Basically to do things so few people I knew had the opportunity to do. Maybe it was my luck that I was not able to move abroad on the first opportunity after high school, if I had gone, I am not sure I would have learnt the things I know now.
The international friends I got, showed such pure curiosity and appreciations to things in Finland, I had never even bothered to think of. The appreciation of rules and trust, the respect for nature and silence, even the sauna culture. All things which I grew up with suddenly seemed completely new to me as well. One time, my friend stated how much they loved Finnish grocery stores and I just laughed. How could someone even think of that? It was like I had gained new eyes. Suddenly, I did not hate the greyness of autumn anymore, but rather looked forward to seeing the snow to arrive again.
Now that I am heading towards my exchange semester, I carry my Finnishness with pride, rather than indifference. Finland is my home, now and in the future.
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